Jones Espepper-de-la-tour-Crusto

Early Life
Jones Espepper-de-la-tour-Crusto otherwise known as Jones Crusto was born in Paris to a wealthy family. He grew up with his brothers and sisters in their family's large mansion. With all the people residing there Jones often found hidden spots in the mansion to sneak through (guyz hez ventg!!!) to hide away. He also spent a lot of his time at the family garden trying his best to learn about plants or bugs simply out of curiosity. This curiosity continued into adult hood taking Jones into college. He studied just about everything he could get his hands on but his time was cut short.

World War One
In 1914 Arch duke Ferdinand was shot causing a state of war between the nations of Austria-Hungry and Serbia. Serbia allied with Russia and France called them into the war. Germany in defense of it's ally Austria-Hungry declared war on both allied nations. Blah blah blah Germany then invades Belgium and is bogged down blah blah blah. WWI suckx!!! back to Jones

When the Germans approached Paris, Jones was conscripted into the French Army. Jones had mixed feelings on the war. He loved France and was happy to help in its defense, but hated the life of an infantry man. Thankfully for Jones, he was mostly on the back line, almost never seeing combat. Well that was until one day...... Verdun 1916. In Jones's restlessness he decided to try playing a prank on his comanding officer. This did not go over too well and Jones was sent straight to the front lines. Jones had never truly fought before, but wasn't scared. On the day the Germans began their assault. Jones was shown the true horrors of The Great War. He had watched his country men throw themselves straight into German gunfire. Struck with fear, Jones ran between trenches, foxholes, even artillery craters in an attempt to hide. A few times a soldier or two tried to attack Jones, but he fired back, killing any kraut that got close. The French soldiers mistaking Jones's fear for courage thought his efforts to run behind enemy lines and distrupt the germans was extremely couragous. After the battle, the soldiers thought of him as a hero. He was even nominated for serval war medals.

1920s
After the war, Jones left the army. He went back to college and became a professor. He took a big fascination with etymology, specifically the odd phenomenon of people with pizza related last names. With the help of his new assisstant Maria, he studied this and found that these names go back to the dawn of time. Even before the invention of pizza!!! These studies consumed him. He eventually found at this point in time as a cluster of people with Pineapple and Pizza names residing in Chicago. So in 1924 he and Maria set sail for the United States. He took a train all the way to Chicago and thats when he met the Detroit Pineapple Mafia. The DPM thinking he was CPM spy captured him **TO BE CONTINUED**